@weismanjake: If I were a cop and pulled a woman over for speeding I would keep crying until she let me give her a ticket.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@girlontapas: Love it when I see the sign: “You must have been born before 1999 to buy tobacco products.” My oldest bra can smoke now.
@tastefactory: My neighbors complain about me throwing my cigarette butts on the lawn but they'll be pumped when a cigarette tree sprouts in the spring
@Playing_Dad: *sees a spider* I'm going to kill him *turn around to get a shoe* *turns back around and spider has 8 shoes* Alright, let's be cool here