@heatherjs: If I were a hairdresser, my business cards would say, "I'll cut you."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BradBroaddus: My wife must have some big surprise vacation planned. She left a note by the bed telling me I had until tomorrow to have my bags packed.
@thezwickers3: In order to get my teenagers attention I shut off the WiFi router and wait for them in the room it's in.
@daemonic3: My wife hates it when I say "You are just like your mother!" Actually, she hates it when I say *anything* during sex.