@heatherjs: If I were a hairdresser, my business cards would say, "I'll cut you."
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@jensenmarie_: Going to dress up as a Jedi today and open automatic doors for people with the force. NO YOU GET A LIFE.
@UNTRESOR: Dad, who's Daniel Day-Lewis? *Dad peers out the blinds* He could be anyone, son. *Mom starts weeping* He could be anyone.
@RoosterMustache: "Where'd my boomerang go?" Under there "Under where?" Hahaha I just made you say "underwear" *boomerang hits me in the back of the head*
@_LUMP: People in Arab nations are still wondering what all the western world hub bub about hump day and camel toe is about.