@trevso_electric: If I were a manager at Stabucks I would be like, "You showed up latte for work today!" then when the laughing stops, "but no, you're fired."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ArfMeasures: TORTURER: I'm gonna water-board u ME: Hahaha, where u gonna find enough water TORTURER: *takes Tupperware out of the dishwasher* ME: Oh shit
@PaperWash: Getting a text from someone when I'm trying to tweet is the emotional equivalent to walking into a spider web.
@justliamwilson: So in 2016 I've decided to leave all the negative people behind. So im sorry if i owe you money because im moving on from that now.
@aveuaskew: The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.