@trevso_electric: If I were a manager at Stabucks I would be like, "You showed up latte for work today!" then when the laughing stops, "but no, you're fired."
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@smedlee: "No Kanye, it's called Coney Island." "Kanye Island." "Coney Island" "Kanye Island." "Co... ney." "Kan... ye."
@desi_princess: No thanks officer. I don't even give strange men my phone number, and you're asking for my license and registration.
@tastefactory: JOB INTERVIEWER: So what are your biggest weaknesses? HE-MAN: Well, I- *job interviewer's fake mustache falls off and it's Skeletor*
@ibid78: [my hot coworker Brenda & I at gates of Hell] BRENDA: we finally closed the gate, what should we seal it with? ME: a kiss? B: don't do that