@RandomManik: If I were a millionaire, I'd probably sign up Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow for a movie called, 'Salt' & 'Pepper'.
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@CantWaitToNap: Never have I ever... rushed out of my house pretending I had to be somewhere & drove around neighborhood to get somebody to leave.
@13spencer: I'd like to think that my exes see me as "the one who got away," but it's probably more like "the one who got away from the police."
@daemonic3: [1st date] So, what's your back story? "I have scoliosis" No, I mean your BACK STORY, like your history "Oh! I got scoliosis as a child"
@Spaziotwat: [*Wakes up on sofa] "Did I...DID I HAVE A FIGHT WITH BATMAN?" Wife [from bedroom]: "YOU. PUNCHED. A. NUN."