@RandomManik: If I were a millionaire, I'd probably sign up Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow for a movie called, 'Salt' & 'Pepper'.
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@KaysNH: I thought I'd lose tons more weight if I drank extra glasses of water every day, but I guess I was just diluting myself.
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: You were right. Me: Say it again. Wife: You were right. Me: Again. Wife: You were right. Me: One more time. Wife: You wer- *wakes up*
@c_gawker: if you think about all the people you didn't marry, you've had a positive impact on virtually every life in the world
@TheTweetOfGod: Your overexposure to Korean pop music last year will be nothing compared to your overexposure to Korean nuclear radiation this year.