@ClassicMegan: If I were a waitress, I'd be planting fake engagement rings in every girl's food, just to see their boyfriends panic.
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@NikatNiteNite: My dog barks for 2 reasons: 1. When somewhere in the world another dog is barking. 2. When somewhere in the world no other dog is barking.
@Fred_Delicious: "Hello this is your captain speaking. I have fallen out of the plane yikes lol. Very impressed with the range on this Bluetooth headset tho"
@scott2ten: Co-worker: Face up or face down? Me: Um. What? Cw: The fax machine? Documents face up or down? Me: I'm not mature enough to answer that.
@vikkaroni: Just once I'd like to walk down the aisle, take my vows, say I do... Without being dragged out being told, "Ma'am, you're not the bride..."