@Elizasoul80: If I were Hillary, I'd ask Michelle Obama to stay on as first lady.
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@xLiserx: Me:*Chewing* These pot brownies are disgusting. Him: That's a dish sponge. Me: Oh no! That means - *Sees all the tea cups eating my Doritos*
@OtherDanOBrien: ACQUAINTANCE: (crying) Nobody likes me ME: I like you ACQUAINTANCE: (crying harder) Nobody good likes me
@iwearaonesie: *helps wife get toddler in his high chair* wife: That's a new shirt, let's put a bib on you me [wearing a bib] This is ridiculous