@johngaysee: If I were Luke Skywalker it would have taken me about six minutes to turn R2-D2 into a bong.
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@weinerdog4life: Honey, I made the news! Apparently that old lady I fought at the library wasn't a ghost
@Jake_Vig: Police Officer: "Turn around!" Me: *sings* "Every every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round..."
@iamk1ts: All I said was, Even those starving kids in Africa wouldn't eat your cooking and my wifes foot became Mayor of my ass on Foursquare.