@IamEnidColeslaw: if I were Sleeping Beauty I would have killed the prince who woke me up
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@therealeatwood: ME: Haha you can tell them any name and they have to say it BARISTA: I have a latte for “A Person Who Deserves Love”? ME [crying]: Hahaha
@HeyZeus666: Typical coworkers. They complain about management, but when it’s time to dispose of the boss’s body, they all pretend to be working.
@TheTweetOfGod: I planted all the evidence for evolution once it became clear it did not serve the best interest of My reputation to take credit for you.
@hellolanemoore: yeah well i hope you go to put your hair in a ponytail but the hair tie is too loose to hold it & not big enough to tie it another time