@IamEnidColeslaw: if I were Sleeping Beauty I would have killed the prince who woke me up
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@doktorj: Me: Good night Moon Moon: Me, climbing out of lunar module two weeks later: Did you get my text?!
@JasonLastname: A horror movie where the girl in the woods actually outruns the mutated chainsaw murderer, then it shows him sadly limping back to his car.
@abhorrent_wife: Thanks to Target's full length 3 way mirrors, I'm now painfully aware I look like a melting candle from the back.
@funnyhumour: How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb? None. When the bulb goes, they just replace the house.