@KentWGraham: If I were the person naming diseases, Chronic Lying Disorder would be called Liarrhea.
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@trevso_electric: Thank you for ordering this $2 necklace from Etsy. With shipping your total comes to $758,937. Item will arrive from Uzbekistan in 3 years
@DomesticGoddss: Who knew 20yrs after Debate class I'd apply those skills to present arguments to 7yo on why pasta shapes don't change the taste of pasta.
@FilthyRichmond: Walmart keeps two elderly people on staff at all times: one to greet you, and one to walk slowly in front of you on the way out.
@Robert_Beau: At the motel: Front Desk: And here's your key card sir .. Me: I'd like a wakeup call. FD: You're 20 lbs. overweight and your fly's open.