@NickSchug: If I worked at a pizza place I would use pepperoni to spell out "Marry me?" on pizzas all the time just to make things awkward for couples.
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@jctwritesstuff: Me: Yeah like that, baby. Him: *caresses my back, plays with my hair* Me: *moans* Him: *growls* I'm gonna do so many-- Me: *snores, drools*
@ojedge: [feeding baby Malaysian food] "Here comes the plane" *makes plane noises* *spoon just disappears*
@WildeThingy: In the UK we celebrate Thanksgiving as the day we managed to ship all our paranoid religious fundamentalists off to another continent.
@TheReal_AndyMac: I was in a 3rd grade talent show and told a few jokes. I quickly got escorted off the stage because I'm 30 and should be at work.