@jwoodham: If I'd been around in France when Marie Antoinette said "let them eat cake," I would've been like "wait a minute, let's hear this lady out."
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: STATUS: Using the flashlight on my phone to look for the keys that are in my hand so I can open my car cuz I think I left my phone in there.
@AnkCoupleTO: PRO TIP: Using a Starbucks cup to ask for change makes me think I'm worse off than you
@Brohamulet: Toilet paper has a lot of other uses! Your baby? Boom. It's a mummy. Your dog? Boom. Mummydog. This lamp? Boom. Your living room is on fire.