@greg_vee: If I'd know I only had 4 decent tweets in me when I started, I'd have spread them out a little more.
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@Bob_Janke: Believe it or not I'm listening to the Final Countdown in the grocery store. Now you're hearing it too.
@codyspencer0: Cereal box mascots give kids a dangerously positive view of animals who in the wild would literally kill them before they gave them cereal.
@Cheeseboy22: Parenting tip: If your kids are fighting in the back seat of the car, stick your arm over and swing it around a bunch. That'll show em'.
@shadygrenade: *Pizza Hut job interview* "Do you own a shitty car and smoke pot?" No sir. "You will."