@gwatts77: If ignorance is bliss then explain Facebook.
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@badbanana: I'll be celebrating my birthday the traditional way, by barging naked into a room full of strangers and crying.
@kelkulus: Me: The Calvin and Hobbes movie was awesome! Her: Idiot, that was Life of Pi. Me: Whatever *gets in cardboard time machine, flies to Mars*
@iwearaonesie: wife [text] I'm so proud of you for sticking to your diet me [can't respond because there's powdered donut on my fingers]