@PurrrrrfectCat: If ignorance truly is bliss, my coworkers must be in a constant state of euphoria.
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@Amburglar_: Facebook friend: If you can't handle me at my worst, then you- SHUT UP, SHANNON. YOU'RE *ALWAYS* AT YOUR WORST.
@michaelianblack: "God" not mentioned in Democratic platform means they don't worship God. "Money" mentioned eleven times in Republican platform.
@NoogsCorner: Take Dr. Seuss, make him a black midget with chronic asthma and give him access to Urban Dictionary. Behold, Lil' Wayne.
@Carbosly: If I ever visit Japan, the first thing I'll do is run through those paper walls pretending I'm the Kool-Aid man.