@Fickle_Filly: If I'm carrying a torch for you it's only because I want to set you on fire.
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@noogscorner: Step 1) Ask mom to come meet your girlfriend. Step 2) Text "Medusa's excited to meet you." Step 3) Place statue of yourself on your lawn.
@TheBoydP: All I’m saying is when I’m drunk in the backyard I still put my shirt on just like everyone else, one leg at a time...
@dshack8: At this point in my life if I drop something and can't pick it up with my foot or via one of my kids, it's staying on the floor.