@Fickle_Filly: If I'm carrying a torch for you it's only because I want to set you on fire.
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@neiltyson: Mysteries of #Gravity: Why Bullock's hair, in otherwise convincing zero-G scenes, did not float freely on her head.
@ieatanddrink: "I deleted that tweet because I've really grown as a writer in the past 7 minutes and it's just not up to my current standards"
@slimmy_shady: This chick last night told me to do her like her ex husband so I drained her bank accounts and banged her sister