@Fickle_Filly: If I'm carrying a torch for you it's only because I want to set you on fire.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Reverend_Scott: [job interview] Did you really think bringing a puppy with you to the interview would help you get the job? "Yes" WELL YOU'RE RIGHT.
@TheMichaelRock: Kids: haha you have to work and we don't have school today Me *closing the front door* I changed the wifi password. Love you guys!
@danikaharrod: dad just said “it’s easy to deter the ladies from eating tide pods but it’s more difficult to deter...gents” while laughing through the entire joke