@LuvPug: If I'm ever arrested, I would use my one phone call for pizza.
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@emmatheist: Before I die, I'm putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames. My grand children will be so pwned.
@Diversion50: [supermarket] *Unpacks 60 items of groceries onto checkout area* CHECKOUT GIRL: I have a boyfriend. ME: Oh, OK. *slowly repacks trolley*
@rolldiggity: 1. Sit down next to stranger on park bench. 2. Place an envelope beside him. 3. Whisper, "It has to look like an accident." 4. Walk away.