@LuvPug: If I'm ever arrested, I would use my one phone call for pizza.
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@erikbransteen: "Speak softly and carry a big stick." -- Teddy Roosevelt "Yell loudly and talk about the size of your stick." -- Donald Trump
@Death_Buddy: *gets to hell* [In earshot of Satan] I HATE ICE CREAM AND WATCHING TV, DAMN THAT WOULD BE REAL TORTURE FOR ME. OH AND BEER, I ALSO HATE BEER
@trumpetcake: Just realized that the group therapy I attended weekly for three years was actually the waiting room of a local optometrist.