@AmberTozer: If I'm ever being chased by a giraffe I'm gonna run into a place with low ceiling fans sorry giraffe but I gotta do what's best for me
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@Rollinintheseat: [High school reunion] Person: "I don't remember you." Me: *starts crying* Person: "Now I remember you."
@raydevito: If Kim Kardashian is allowed to sue Old Navy b/c a model looks like her, then Khloe Kardashian should expect a lawsuit from Chewbacca.
@MikeCanRant: You have to put a potato in the microwave to push the potato button. Other things dont turn into potatoes. *brought to you by Bounty*