@HumanPog: If I'm ever dangling off a cliff and your hands are full of mikes hard lemonades you better give me one so i can be refreshed on my way down
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@sirmunchie: My GF arrives in town next week. I'm so excited! I just hope that all the tension w/ Russia doesn't make U.S. immigration hold up the mail.
@PaperWash: [while titanic is sinking] me: [mouth full of shrimp at the buffet] I can't believe no one is eating these lol
@DaHess1: Referring to another employee as a "gingeraffe"will land you in sensitivity training...no matter how tall and redheaded they are.
@ppppolls: 30% of Republican primary voters nationally say they support bombing Agrabah. Agrabah is the country from Aladdin. #NotTheOnion