@HumanPog: If I'm ever dangling off a cliff and your hands are full of mikes hard lemonades you better give me one so i can be refreshed on my way down
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@torrami: My favorite thing about single people is how they champion being single till they like someone then they transform into a hypocritcalpotamus
@aligarchy: sorry i'm late, i have terrible time management skills and zero perception of distance as it pertains to speed of travel
@fro_vo: Dr: well i have good news and bad news Me: give me the bad news Dr: you have cancer Me: what's the good news Dr: i don't
@craydrienne: My Mexican waiter put my food down in front of another white lady who looked nothing like me. I get it now. Oh wait that's not my waiter.