@Sassafrantz: If I'm ever reincarnated I hope I get to be a bear because I'll be like "stop playing dead, I used to be human. That shits not gonna work!"
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@markydoodoo: *gets tax refund* *calls zoo* Hello, how much to rent an otter for the day? Please say less than $47. Hello?
@13spencer: I'd like to think that my exes see me as "the one who got away," but it's probably more like "the one who got away from the police."
@LizHackett: If a bear confronts you in the woods, make it go away by handing it a flyer for your boyfriend's band's show.