@david8hughes: If I'm found dead in the bathtub clutching a toaster, check for Pop-Tarts before jumping to conclusions.
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@ShortSleeveSuit: Bank robber: I got the money! Let's get outta here! Me [waiting outside on our getaway unicycle]: *rings bike bell*
@robdelaney: TEENS: You might find yourself "embarrassed" by certain things your body is doing, when in fact, you should be ashamed.
@5exyunchained: It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.