@Tmoney68: If I'm guilty of anything, it's loving TOO much. And several felonies in 3 different states. But mostly loving too much.
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@Robert_Beau: I like to go on job interviews wearing an eye patch and switch eyes when the interviewer looks down.
@Turbo_Jimmy: *Wife thumps door* "I KNOW UR IN THERE! U BLEW OUR SAVINGS ON A SHITTY INVENTION, DIDN'T U?!" NO! *furiously flushes 1000s of dog-tampons*
@TheTweetOfGod: Hey U.S.: if every now and then I heard a "God PLEASE bless America", maybe you'd have better luck. #manners
@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest you in despair and disappointments?