@prsnprincess: If I'm lying but not wearing pants, what catches fire?
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@JohnLyonTweets: -Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes. -He has sex with fish? -He's dead. -I'm not surprised. Having sex with fish doesn't sound very safe.
@1Happytwit: You shouldn't judge people. What if that bloke outside your window with a clown mask and knife is just a chef that lost his way.
@TheDrunkStory: "I don't understand why people try to act drunk. I spend most of my time trying to act sober." - Florida State