@prsnprincess: If I'm lying but not wearing pants, what catches fire?
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@pertyy_: If you don't want to play with me I'll just play with myself! - Overheard in 2nd grade today... Me too kid, me too.
@dafloydsta: WIFE: He treats our marriage like it's a talk show THERAPIST: Is this true? ME: *turns and winks at camera* We'll find out after the break
@writerPT: We've got people working on world peace, and I'm here wondering how I can swipe a piece of my patient's chocolate without her noticing.