@prsnprincess: If I'm lying but not wearing pants, what catches fire?
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@crushingbort: "daddy where do babies come from" "we just don't know, sweetie...*peers through blinds, the sky is dark with babies* "...we just don't know"
@NYC_Blonde: Mom: Wanna help gift rap? Me: In West Philadelphia born and raised on the playgro-- oh you mean WRAP? Nah homegirl you're on your own.
@david8hughes: [watches you eat my bday cake] "I've poisoned that." "Haha very [clasps chest & begins panting] w-with what?" [leans in & winks] "Poison."