@briangaar: If I'm murdered, I hope I'm able to write out the killer's name in blood and then "sucks" underneath
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@Cyd10e: Old men's pants creep higher & higher up their waist into their armpits. At the end of their lives they're just a pair of pants with a head.
@gabemakesmusic: I was kicked out of karate class today for describing everything the instructor did as "senseitational"
@causticbob: Not many people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist that experimented with cadavers. His name was Frank
@BuckyIsotope: *doctor looks up* I'm afraid you have forgetting about 80's bands disease "Oh god what's The Cure?" *doctor sighs* It's worse than I thought