@briangaar: If I'm murdered, I hope I'm able to write out the killer's name in blood and then "sucks" underneath
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@RidiculousSheri: Everyone seems so happy for you until they realize your baby carrier is just filled with mozzarella sticks.
@sloganeerist: People who replace "Christ" with "X" are missing the whole point of what the ChristBox 360 is about.
@AmnesiaRose: My alarm is set to the sound of a heart monitor's flatline so I startle awake every morning and think, "whew. Close call."