@ieatanddrink: If I'm on a date and can't think of anything to say I just make it look like I'm busy trying to figure out what a smell on my fingers is
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@Rollmaninoz: *Shrek pre-production meeting* Producer: Do we have a name for the dragon yet Guy who named the donkey “Donkey”: I was thinking Dragon sir
@Rollinintheseat: *Goes to bakery to try wedding cake samples* Baker: "When is your wedding?" Me: *with mouthful of cake* "What wedding?"
@Owl_Meat: captain: enemy sub approaching, activate the sauna 1st mate: dont you mean sonar captain (already in towel): full steam ahead