@ieatanddrink: If I'm on a date and can't think of anything to say I just make it look like I'm busy trying to figure out what a smell on my fingers is
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@ch000ch: *puts crime-scene photos in a rocket* Ok stand back "Detective, what are u doing?" What does it look like, I'm launching this investigation
@weinerdog4life: I like to push the "stop time" button on the microwave and walk around in slow motion until my wife calls me an idiot.
@iamspacegirl: SURPRISE! I scream, bursting from the vat of mashed potatoes. The other lunch ladies do not look surprised They do not look surprised at all
@teenpuke: do you qualify to be my crush? *pulls out list* *checks off has a beating heart* yup you qualify