@HatfieldAnne: If I'm reading this DNA report correctly, the thin lines here and the thick lines over here mean nothing is my fault.
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@OtherDanOBrien: ME: I've expressed this political opinion so clearly, there's no way anyone could misinterpret it. THE INTERNET: lmao challenge accepted
@squirrel74wkgn: Doctor (listening to my heart): You really should stop smoking Me: I will one day Doctor: No...like now. You can’t smoke in here
@Lakelandr: I've eaten enough chinese food in my day that my fortune cookies have started to contradict one another