@Marlebean: If insanity is repeating the same action expecting a different outcome, should I just wait til my kids are in college to clean the house?
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@RubyBottoms: The ex says he's come into some money and can finally "take care" of me. Wait...he's gonna have me killed isn't he?
@PaperWash: me: what are you doing lawyer: [opening briefcase full of ham sandwiches] judges are more sympathetic to your situation after they eat prosecutor: [opens briefcase full of meatball subs] lawyer: aw dude you’re going to jail
@rachelle_mandik: emcee: welcome, contestants, to the world bodybuilding championships! victor frankenstein: *looking around* i think i've made a horrible mistake.