@swiftenhaal: If Iron Man and the Man of Steel were to team up, they'd be powerful alloys.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@david8hughes: [my acceptance speech at the Badger Recogniser of the year award] Me: just wanna thank-oh, theres one now Narrator: that's why he's the best
@Queen_Sassy_AF: Thank you for the "avi is not me" disclaimer in your bio. I was thinking David Hasselhoff sure isn't very popular on here with 13 followers
@LackOfShame: [their last appetizer] Her: I don't want it. You have it. Him: I don't want it either, you... Me: *reaches onto their table and takes it
@iwearaonesie: *wife comes out in a robe* I'm hiding your present Yes it's wrapped Nooo, it's not in the fridge [5 minutes later] IT'S NOT IN THE FRIDGE!