@robfee: If it comes down to Joe Biden vs Donald Trump we should just accept our fates & let a chili dog eating contest determine who's president.
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@POTerritory: Him: The dog ate your take-home final? Me: Yeah. Him: So what happened? Me: Well, a few hours later- Him: Oh, no. Me: -he passed the test.
@i_Lean: "Name him Mufasa, it means "king" in Manazoto. And uh, we'll call HIM Scar. Because his face." Simba's grandparents were the real villains.
@MoodyBlx: People who own Hummers and Range Rovers, what's the thinking here? "I might have to drive up to Iraq for a weekend?"
@abradacabla: *walks up to Michael Cohen's door* "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Says." "Says who?" "THE POLLS. ALL OF THEM."