@CheryeDavis: If it defies all logic, and makes very little sense then it was probably my idea...
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@pplwtching: Rhythmic banging against the wall, his hands grasping the sheets. Unable to get what he needs, he gets out of bed to turn off the Roomba.
@joshraclaw: Watching Thor: Ragnorok and never get tired of hearing Bruce Banner brag about his 7 PhDs like it’s a sign of brilliance and not just poor career planning, dude. Like, maybe do the one PhD and then some postdocs, guy.
@i_wantMyBiitch: Never ask Google for relation advice. I've gone from small disagreement to getting two mails from divorce lawyers in three clicks.
@iLikeCatShirts: Me [trying to get respect from my family after eating 12 hotdogs] how many more hotdogs do I need to eat before you respect me? Mom: we just want you to get a job. Give me the *sound of a struggle* hotdogs