@CheryeDavis: If it defies all logic, and makes very little sense then it was probably my idea...
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@MarlonBrandNO: [First Date] "Okay don't let her know you're a tool shed" Waiter: Anything to drink? Date: a screwdriver please *My head slowly opens*
@slaughthie: My coworker was like "I love kids! Can't finish a whole one by myself though hahaha!" And I was just like wow I could easily eat like 5.
@JohnLyonTweets: Just watched The Hobbit: The Battle to Stay Awake for What Felt Like Five Hours.
@jaketapper: I'm trying to envision something more fitting than this election actually ending in a Biden-Trump fist fight and i cannot