@Lisabug74: If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills.
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@JaySuch: My son wanted to go to Disney, but I told him little boys who ruin marriages don't go to Disney.
@shariv67: Parents tell you their baby's weight because they have no other information. They can't say "Meet Jim, a free spirit who's into yodeling."
@PeaceInTruth1: Coworker: Stop Me: collaborate and listen Coworker: Don't Me: you forget about me Coworker: Hey! Me: teacher, leave them kids alone
@iliza: A cop was outside my house talking to some people and my first thought was "yesss" because I'm nosey.