@GrantTanaka: If it looks like a duck & swims like a duck & talks like an angry duck policeman, then you about to fail a sobriety test son
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@P0tterhead_394: I like when babies cry and you make the same noise as them, and they look at you like, "Wow. That's annoying." and you're like, "I know."
@JhonRules: Dammit I forgot my headphones and I'm at the airport wait here's some for 16 million dollars thank god.
@too_chihuahua: "How much are these glasses?" "$150 sir" "I guess you could say" *puts on sunglasses* *runs out without another word*
@mortimermaiden: Me: *doing magic trick* Is THIS your card? Guy: They're all my cards, give me my wallet back.