@novicefather: If it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, odds are it's a vegan, black bean, veggie burger and my wife is cooking.
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@ddsmidt: Hubs: I think we should buy a new camper. Me: What’s the matter with you? You’re just gonna say that right in front of my phone? *Facebook timeline turns into solid camper ads*
@huntigula: [interview] BOSS: So you have zero experience? ME: Hire me & I'll give u a sweet nickname B: That's absurd.. ME: Lazerwolf B: Welcome aboard
@meladoodle: The new options on Facebook look like the life cycle of every relationship I've ever had