@novicefather: If it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, odds are it's a vegan, black bean, veggie burger and my wife is cooking.
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@DadInUtah: 6 year old: Daddy, what if the plane goes down? Me: Don't worry, your mom is with us. She never goes down. 6 year old: What? Me: Want candy?
@SuperJuanderer: Blood is thicker than water. Then again, so is oatmeal, and I would much rather be oatmeal brothers.
@AimeeHelene1: Nothing makes me feel more "white collar" than when I'm nodding my head at someone pointing to a line graph that I know nothing about.
@eye_spyder: You hear about that roman ruler who found the fountain of youth? Emperor constant teen.