@_Tempo11: If it looks like I'm typing for five minutes I'm really just trying to spell diarrhea.
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@MoistPork: "He's a jerk. I'm over him anyway. (5 minutes later) Ooh, he texted! I want to have his babies!" -Women
@dafloydsta: [date] HER: So do you like Star Wars? ME: Oh yeah HER: Who's your favorite character? ME: *nervously looking at smudged notes* Yoga
@QwertyJones3: GENE SIMMONS: What is it about me that makes people think I'm gross? "Hygiene" SIMMONS: Hi. Now answer my question.
@PeaceInTruth1: Dogs have a tendency to bark just to hear themselves bark. Reminds me of some people I know.