@HiddleDeeDee: If it seems as though I love the dog more than you, kids, well that's because he doesn't have homework I need to help him with.
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@DanMentos: me: it smells like updog in here me: what's updog me: not much dog what's up with you lmao me: lol therapist: I see
@TheBoydP: Headline: World helium shortage over due to discovery of helium field. Scientist: (high voice) This new supply of helium is a game-changer
@polite_good_boy: DOG: woof ME: you wanna go outside? DOG: [wagging tail] woof woof! ME: ok just a second DOG: [pulls a gun] woof [gestures to door] woof
@lwhit_the_boss: The government is so screwed up and dysfunctional, I'm amazed I haven't tried to date it yet