@WheelTod: If it takes 13 muscles to smile and 33 muscles to frown, then how can I tell if this girl is flirting with me and not just being lazy?
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@LuckoftheDraw86: I'm gonna date the first guy to come out of this "Free STD Screenings!" van. #goodplan
@ComedicBust: *Speed Dating* Me: What'd you have for lunch? Her: Funny you should ask, I had this really great salad wit... Me: NEXT!!