@iTomFoolery: If it was the choice between having the last pizza on earth or the last sex on earth, which toppings would you have on your pizza.
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@jwomackou: [spelling bee finals] JUDGE: your word is "asterisk" KID: can you use it in a sentence? JUDGE: *adjusts mic* yes
@daveexplosm: Saw the trailer for Life Of Pi. Why are they making a Calvin & Hobbes movie in 2013?
@joejwest: COP: Give back the money you stole ME: Already spent it COP: On what? ME: Karate lessons which [does vague swishes w/ hand] I did not attend