@Kneevyl: If it weren't for dating sites, I'd still have some self-esteem. Thank God, it's all gone now.
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@ninjadinosaur1: I am not paying for a full year membership at the Y when I only need the pool long enough to hold one hamster Viking funeral.
@Laser_Cat: [skywriting] Karen, do you have the checkbook? The skywriting guy won't let me out of the plane until he gets his deposit.
@kevinrowe1: At my age, a new driver's license doesn't have an Expires On date. It has a Renew If You Haven't Expired On date.
@Discourt: Having children teaches you patience, humility, love and to never, ever, be surprised when you find a Barbie doll leg clogging the toilet.