@fluffysuse: If it's your imperfections that make you beautiful, I'm pretty sure I should be a supermodel.
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@FSUSteve: Just because a guy wants to see you naked it doesn't mean anything, I know a guy who drove 2 days to see a donkey show.
@SoVeryBritish: Procedure for being unthanked for door holding: 1. Keep eyes fixed on culprit 2. Say you're welcome 3. Shake head 4. Mutter "unbelievable"
@jakob_huber: "I hate hashtags!" Dad screams as he smashes his #1 Dad coffee mug against a wall.