@TomTheWicked: If I've learned anything from Twitter, it's that you shouldn't be learning on Twitter.
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@MmeSurly: My kids wouldn't stop asking me who my favorite is so I said the dog & now they're crying and I'm like THIS IS WHY THE DOG IS MY FAVORITE.
@mattZillaaaa: [1st date] You're gonna love this place *pushes you out the passenger side door and drives away
@radtoria: Hey baby, do you like tan lines? Because I fell asleep with a badminton racquet on my face again and
@GoldenSpirals: I'm just a girl, sitting in her car, wondering what the person I texted "I'm in the cat" to, is thinking right now.