@lwhit_the_boss: If Jay-Z is married to Beyonce and is a multimillionaire and still has 99 problems then there ain't no hope for the rest of us
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@jdforshort: Laying in bed, watching the ceiling fan spin, my thoughts wonder to 1. Who turned the ceiling fan on 2. Why don't I have telekinetic powers
@GoldenSpirals: He tripped, and the laundry basket fell to floor, spilling clothes everywhere. I sat back and watched it all unfold.
@Book_Krazy: Couple: [hands me camera] Do you mind taking a picture? "Sure"[click] Couple: How does it look? "I just got my hair done, so pretty good"