@themorris23: If Jesus came back today, hipsters would be like "whatever Jesus, the book was better."
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@K_Chapacabra: Emoji: because sometimes a chicken, the Spanish flag, and a lesbian couple is the only way to express how you really feel.
@juicymorsel: I hate laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, fixing and fetching. The only logical conclusion is that I am descended from royalty.
@haleysfalling: cop: are you high? me: if i was high could i do this? *vaults over car hood and does 360 no scope* cop: did you just say "asterisk vaults ov