@ArelyCorral: If Jose breaks up with me just know it’s because he’s had enough
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@Hormonella: Me: Hey, great costume, buddy! You look like a real... Him: Ma'am, please step out of the vehicle.
@tigersgoroooar: Online guy: wanna chat I’m 9 inches Me: i’m 5′8′‘ you would barely reach the middle of my shin how could we hold hands on our wedding day