@ANastyGorilla: If Justin Beiber and Rebecca Black were both drowning and you could only save one, would you grab a bite to eat or finish mowing the lawn?
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@DanMentos: "I got expelled" How? "I wrote 2+2=41 on the whiteboard" Ok that's dumb but- "So my prof told me to go back up there…" Oh no "and rub 1 out"
@palokin: Still trying to figure out how to compliment a woman's skin without sounding like I want to wear it
@MandiAtRandom: Doc: This pill may cause: Heart attack, stroke, minor weight gain, and death Me: WOAH BACK UP, weight gain? I'm out.