@SSDated: If Kevin Bacon never said "want some bacon with your eggs" to a lonely chick in a bar, life just doesn't make sense anymore.
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@Dawn_M_: It is completely unreasonable that family members are expecting me to remember things like what the names of their kids are. Preposterous.
@KKAlThani: If I had a boy I'd name him "Opportunity" & whenever he knocks on the door I'll say "I bet that's opportunity knocking" & laugh with my wife
@bombscribe: If a coworker has two apples in his right hand and two oranges in his left hand, what does he have? No chance of blocking an uppercut.