@xysist: If Kim and Kanye name their next kid North West again, we can comfortably refer to the two as One Direction.
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@dafloydsta: [first date] HER: I like a man who can show his true feelings. ME: *leans in close* I don't care what you like.
@KidBeatnix: If you want to play frisbee Buy a frozen pizza instead of a frisbee And when you get hungry from playing frisbee Eat your frisbee
@CliffDuffy: Me: I must warn you, I'm like an animal in bed. Her: That's fine by me! *burrows under the covers and falls asleep at the foot of the bed*
@KirstenCatClub: [God Creating Raccoons] God: make a panda but a trash panda, then give it a mask so that people would know it will kill them for their food