@SamGirlSunday: If Kim Kardashian & Snooki were drowning & I could only save one, I'd have a hard time deciding whether to make a sandwich or take a nap.
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@cluedont: My grandad used to swear by refrigerators. And televisions. In fact, he was probably the most foul-mouthed member of staff Comet ever had.
@NicestHippo: You hate it "No I just didn't think we'd spend our anniversary here" *pssss* "What was that?!" The bouncy castle is deflating
@GingerHotDish: Them: So why did you guys get divorced? Did he cheat? Me: We went to Costco on a Saturday.