@shatterpants: If Kung Fu Panda taught me anything, it's that obese people can be accepted...so long as they know kung fu.
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@AGreaterMonster: I always keep a hammer in my pocket in case someone asks me to help them fix something so I can immediately break my leg.
@mcclure111: Men statistically have larger brains than women, which is why men are usually smarter and elephants rule us all from their laser-hovercraft
@GMPaiella: The part of the Bible I relate to the most is when Jesus makes a scene at the farmers market