@baeblacksheep: If laughing is good for you because you use 15 muscles, think how healthy you'll be if you're breaking a chair on someone's head every day.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Me: Want me to bring coffee up to bed? What my wife said: If you want to What I heard: If you want to live
@TheTweetOfGod: I won't be satisfied until I have enough followers to form sects that fight about how to interpret My tweets until they kill each other.
@nthonyswan: Airlines. Graciously giving you the choice to have feet, or a personal item, but not both.