@fillthevacuum: If lemonade is made from lemons, what's a colonnade made from?
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@AristotlesNZ: This dog must been at some wild ass party last night. He still wearing a lampshade around his neck.
@CorkyKneivel: [in bed] "No, I'm serious Amy. If this were a buddy cop movie would you try to avenge my murder even after the Chief took your gun & badge?"
@hippieswordfish: extremely suspicious that there's no information about brains that didn't come from a brain
@neverknownfacts: Whenever a character in a book praises the cleverness of another character’s idea, it’s really just the author praising their own idea.