@DamienFahey: If Leonardo da Vinci posted the Mona Lisa on Instagram today, it would get 30 likes, tops.
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@jwoodham: If I'd been around in France when Marie Antoinette said "let them eat cake," I would've been like "wait a minute, let's hear this lady out."
@jergarl: Wife: Were you drunk last night? Me:*recalls ordering 59 tacos and losing them* A little, why? W:*opens sock drawer full of tacos M: Ohhh
@thedayofthedot: i hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore. facebook friends suck.